Sunday, March 24, 2013

Weekend update

In an attempt to blog more, I have taken the iPad into the bath tub this evening. For me a bath is really the only thing I get to do without a million interruptions.  So I try to multitask as all moms do. This past weekend was full of good news and fun times. Saturday morning Matt took and passed a test he has been dreading to take! At the last minute Munchie went to my parents and I got a trip to the mall all by myself. I am happy to report that Lu Lu Lemon was not out of yoga pants :) I didn't buy any but had to check and see if the world was indeed ending. Later that night Matt and I actually got a date night and we stayed out till....10:30pm!!! Today we were given a tour of our new house by the current owners. I can not wait to move, and am hoping to have a closing date by the end of this week. Happy Sunday and here's to a calm and productive week.

Goals for the week
Drink lots of water
Use my new Bliss Yoga And meditation DVDs each morning

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Sorrow, Strength and Reflection

It's funny how your mind works, that today of all days I wanted to do a blog post.  Today is the day I spend a few quiet moments and go through my baby's box. As I open it I smile at the name printed on  a sticker that is affix to the top of the box. Jude K. R. Koch. I think of how unfair it is that I have a certificate of death instead of a birth certificate, sympathy cards instead of congratulations cards and I wonder how I will explain to Corbin one day that he is a little brother. I think of all the mind numbing pain that I thought I would never escape. I wondered what I would do with all of that sorrow I felt, and I now realize that you bundle it up, tuck it away and carry it around with you. Or at least that is what I have done for these past three years. Even when feeling immense happiness I have held a little back, scared that  tragedy is around the corner waiting for me to let my guard down. But today as I look back I don't  see things the same. I look at the strength that it took to get through it all and tell myself that you are stronger than you think. I remember all the friends and family that helped us along the way and remember that I am not alone. I hug and kiss my little one that sits next to me as I write and remember that each day is truly a blessing. Life is hard and  can be an uphill battle, but I can't let it beat me down. I am reminded to live  in the moment, and when tragedy happens, take a deep breath and carry on. Today I lay down some of my sorrow so that I can smile more and enjoy what I have.