Our hardest day so far

I woke up this morning with all my cats curled around me as tightly as they could be. I lay in bed listening to the alarm wondering how I am ever going to have the strength to get out of bed and then they all started purring. Anyone who thinks animal don't know what is going on, do not know what is going on themselves. Our dogs have even been sad. I should be getting ready to go, but I am some how hoping that I miss everything or I finally wake up from this horrible dream. I feel completly empty on the inside, and worry that if you look in my eyes you won't see anything anymore. I know it is weird to be writing all of these things but if I write it, I get a break from feeling it. Matt just took our bag for the weekend outside and I know no matter what I do, or how much I want to kick and scream this is really happening. This morning I am being induced, this weekend we will welcome a part of our family and also say goodbye....